Did you ever feel like you are trying to “push” your ministry forward instead of simply leading the flock? Do you ever feel like you are the key to getting everything done? Do you get confused by all the great books telling you how to do great ministry, yet none of that stuff seems to really work out in your congregation? If you do, maybe you will relate to my recent spiritual journey.

For me the answer to all the above questions got to be a resounding “Yes!” Not a very good situation for someone who really wants to see God’s kingdom go forward.

Remembering Home Base
I am old enough to remember when there were still very few “church growth books.” I am such a dinosaur that I was around before Tom Peters kicked off the explosion in business “How To” books with his impressive book, In Search of Excellence. I actually precede the 1980s and the revolution in self help books. This means that when I entered ministry back in 1968, and planted my first church in 1971, that I had very little help. Or did I?

What I did have was the Bible, a Strong’s Concordance, a Vines New Testament Dictionary and a couple of sets of commentaries. Today, you can find all that stuff and tons more in any good Bible Study software. I also had history books, biographies of great people and novels (to clear my head).

I remember once being missions trip to Mexico. I had o­ne of those special moments of extreme spiritual satisfaction. In that moment, I thought I could be happy living as a missionary if I had o­nly my family, my Bible and a guitar so I could worship to music. A little extreme, perhaps. But, my confidence was strong in the Lord and the power of his word to change lives.

Living at Home Base
For twelve years I pastored Hope Chapel in Hermosa Beach, California using o­nly the simple tools I’ve described above. The church grew from nothing to over 1600 people each week in attendance and we started 30 daughter churches. That congregation is even larger today under the fine ministry of Zac Nazarian who followed me.

My point is, that my ministry was rooted in a very simple system built around a philosophy that said, “Feed the sheep and the Lord will build his church.” This came from a teaching that I had heard from Chuck Smith about Jesus’ admonitions to Peter. I felt it was my job description to feed the flock. Jesus’ job description included building the church along with holding the universe together. That system worked. Then came Tom Peters . . .

Moving Away From Home Base
Someone introduced me to this very good book (if you skip the first five chapters) just before we started Hope Chapel in Kaneohe, Hawaii. Peters didn’t come o­n as a Christian, but all eight of his basic principles could be found in scripture and we had been living them out for years. We got so excited that we used his book in leadership training, asking our team to search out scripture for each of the principles he taught.

That event took me down a path of reading management and leadership books for nearly 20 years. These were both secular and spiritual, although I find that the spiritual o­nes are often knock-offs of the secular. Then came the church growth books. When Donald McGavran began the church growth movement, it was largely about evangelizing entire populations of people, much like the stuff Ed Silvoso touches o­n in his works. It was not about how to get your church a little larger than it is. Even those books were good, the churches they described were thriving, but I was losing something of my soul. I was copying everyone else and doing it so fast that no single idea ever took real root. I was moving from a spiritual foundation to something I don’t like very well.

Back to Basics
Recently, I’ve had the Lord impress me to lay off that kind of reading. Maybe for awhile, maybe for a long time. I do find the Lord is seldom a “black-and-white” thinker, so I don’t think he would mind if I snuck in a little Peter Drucker o­nce in awhile
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I think the reason he is trying to get off my addiction to other people’s success is that he wants to get me back where he can give me a little of his own. I think God is trying to bring me back to basics so I can rediscover my heart-to-heart relationship with him. When you get down to it, that is the o­nly thing that will really make a ministry bear fruit that lasts. I used to brag about all the wonderful things God has done in our midst. Today, I too often hear myself touting our systems and how well they work. Truth is, they may have been given us by God, but they are yesterday’s manna. I’m hungry for something fresh.

This is changing my reading life as well as my prayer life. I still read history and o­nce in awhile I like a good detective novel (have you ever heard of an author named Rex Stout, or his hero—Nero Wolfe?). But, I’ve backed off the management stuff. I found I was confounding my staff with a new idea every week. As a team, we are reading The Measure of a Church, by Gene Getz. But, that is because he brings us back to the Bible as a standard for every activity.

I am reading books about prayer and worship along with my Bible for my devotional times. I even read some of the people whose theology gets a little strange. I do it because these are the o­nes who seem to concern themselves with a God who still acts in real-time. I often find myself weeping over statements they make or challenges they lay out. I want to get back to my first love. I want to be that young kid who really believed God can do anything. That will fire up my preaching and I expect the church to reflect my own walk with the Lord.

As for prayer, I’ve initiated two new things. Both of them are ideas I stole from other men. I journal my prayers because my mind wanders so easily. I got that idea from Bill Hybels in o­ne of those books I used to read. The other practice is that of laying o­n the floor, face down before God in the best humility I can muster. I do this for long periods of time and seem to hear his voice best in that situation (that idea I stole from a guy named David. You can read about him in First and Second Samuel.

A Basic Assignment
The Lord recently re-communicated to me that my first and most basic assignment is to feed his sheep. I feel a little like Peter when Jesus asked if he loved him and then told him to tend his lambs and feed his sheep. Jesus asked, “Peter, do you love me more than these?” Was he talking about the fish they had just caught? Did he mean the other disciples? Was he asking about the boats, nets and all the other gear that Peter must have possessed? Whatever he was asking Peter, I hear Jesus asking me if I love him more than all the ministry he gave me, all the systems we’ve built, all my friends, and everything I possess. I am not sure if I can (yet) give him the answer he deserves—I’m working o­n it with a little fear in my heart. >

But, he has made it clear that feeding the flock is my assignment and I am determined to do the best job of it that I can. In this day of gross commercialization, of up-to-the-minute technology and of extremely busy lives; I am convinced that the o­nly real answer is for pastors to declare the word in plain simple language, being sure to apply what they teach to the listeners. Not to skip the hard parts for the fun stuff. For them to be authentic with their fears, hurts and hopes as well as their dreams. In other words to get back to the Bible and how it is scraping our own lives at the moment as we teach it to others.

Jesus answers prayer so we should preach a message of hope and dreams fulfilled. We should also remember the word “hell” is used quite a few times and that there are consequences for every behavior. There are still two paths, o­ne narrow and o­ne quite broad. It is our job to make sure people find the narrow path that leads to a life both abundant and eternal.

The Bummer
The heading to this paragraph will show you that I am an eternal victim of the 1970s. I still use some of the terminology: “That’s his trip.” “Way cool!” I could go o­n, but you get the picture. The real problem is that I saw a church revolution in the 70s. There was revival and that revival birthed many of today’s graying mega-churches. It was an exciting time, but also a time of upheaval in the church. God was bringing us back to basics—it was a great time to be young. Now I am approaching my fifty-eighth birthday and God seems to be stripping me all over again. The “bummer” is that sometimes I feel too old for this stuff. I just want to live in my comfort zone. But, I also sense excitement. I feel like the Lord is taking us someplace I’ve never been before. I’m a little frightened of it, but I can smell the adventure. Knowing him, it can o­nly be someplace good.